When I put them to sleep

Some times when I put my babies down for a nap, they fall asleep in my arms...and I just hold them.  I like to feel the weight of their bodies resting on my chest.  The rise and fall of their back as they breathe.  I love to hold them close and think about how my life will never be the same.  That these little ones are mine.  I never imagined that they would be ALL that they are.  Part me, part Tiana, but at the same time original creations of their own.

Running w/ the toddler

So I went running with Ayla (she's my oldest) yesterday. It was the first time I did that since we bought our jogging stroller (tisk tisk). Anyway, it was pretty fun. I had some great conversation and I spent some time with my daughter. Here's some of the greatness of our daddy/daughter time:

Ayla: I wanna go running with you.
Me: Okay.
(I love that she wanted to come with me...especially after she kept saying she didn't want to come.)

(So we start my route.)
Ayla: Oh look a dog!
(3 min later)
Ayla: Oh look a hydrant!
(10 min later)
Ayla: Dad go faster!
(2 min later)
Ayla: Dad are you running?
Me: Yes, daddy is running.
(We finish 15 min later)

If not for encouragement like that, I don't know if I could have finished my route. But seriously, it was really fun to be with her and to share that time...and as for those last two comments, it was more cute than anything else.

Now when she's older and we actually go jogging together and she starts saying that...THEN IT'S ON!!! And I'll just have to show her what speed really looks like...or push her down if she starts to beat me and say it was an accident. No...I wouldn't do that. I would trip her. No I wouldn't do that either. I would graciously accept defeat...and then ground her for a month...because of the disrespectful comments not because she beat me. Goodness people...what kind of father do you think I am? No you're right...it'd be because she beat me.

But don't tell her that.

WE'RE ALL In This TOGETHER

This played at Dole Canary Theaters a couple of years ago. I missed it. But it is finally being released to DVD/BluRay in July! I will for sure be picking it up. Anyone interested in watching?



Let me know.

The Beard-less blog

When I came home last night, I gave my wife a kiss and she looked me funny.

Jared:  What's wrong?
Tiana:  Feels funny.
Jared:  You want me to shave it off?
Tiana:  I don't want to say.
Jared:  Ok, I'll shave it off.

After a shower, I spent the next...what seemed like 15 minutes shaving off my mustache and beard.

In not saying, she said all that needed to be said. 

I love her.

Now listening to...

Hey, maybe you already knew about these artists...if so, why didn't you tell me about them earlier?!?!

But just wanted to share with you 2 artists/bands that are constantly playing on my computer, in my car & on my phone.

First up, The Civil Wars.

This duo is composed of Joy Williams and John Paul White. I heard about them when their EP released a few years ago called Poison and Wine. On first listen, it didn't really grab me. So I passed. But now time has gone on and I am older, wiser, and more mature. Also, their full album (Barton Hollow) was ONLY $7.99 on iTunes (& still is as of 5/20)! I'll admit, that's what initially caught/re-caught attention. (What can I say? I'm half Chinese.) So because of the great price, I decided to take a listen.  Now what I do when I listen (to any band) is I preview the songs on iTunes, check their MySpace and Facebook, check their website, and check on any reviews people have posted. So as I did, the thing that first struck me is how incredible Joy and John Paul sound together. Their harmonies are amazing.  After making the purchase, I think I must have played the album at least 5 times before I started listening to the lyrics. When I DID start paying attention to the lyrics, you hear how sad and full of heartache some of them are...and I appreciate that...that they made me feel what they feel...what they are singing about. Just a really nice band.   Definite recommend.

Up next, Ben Rector.

I heard about him via iTunes recommendations. You know the kind where under the album, it says "people also bought"...or something like that. Anyway, so I decided to investigate further. But what really got me was reading a blog post at Messycanvas.com Mandy Steward writes an incredible post and then adds one of Ben's songs (When A Heart Breaks) at the end of her entry. Pretty much right then and there (the entry + the song) I was hooked. There is just a certain quality in Ben's voice that...I like. He also writes great songs and sings with something that makes you "feel" what he's feeling. Like in his song White Dress the chorus repeats: I never knew that I could love someone the way that I love you...the way he sings it, makes me think about my wife and that I feel exactly what he's singing and how he's singing it.  I guess after getting distracted by everything that goes on in the world, that lyric specifically brings me back to what's important to me...brings me back to her.  You can get his album on iTunes, but it may be cheaper on Amazon.

Anyway, just wanted to share a bit.

Happy listening!

The Beard Blog

So I have been trying to grow a beard. STRONG EMPHASIS ON THE TRY. There's no real reason to do this other than I want to try. I figure since there is no dress code at my work I'll give it a shot. (However there may be a dress code after this little experiment.)

Before this though, the longest I've gone without shaving is maybe 2 or 3 days. Now it has been about 3 weeks. It was kinda uncomfortable at first. Felt a little bit like shaving but w/o using aftershave. But now, it's to the point where it doesn't really bother me.

It was kinda fun for a while...to be doing something out of routine AND I thought to myself that doing this would be less work...because I wouldn't have to shave and all. But as I've had some time to think about it, I realize that in the long run there will actually be MORE work. I don't even know what goes into maintaining a beard/mustache. Also do you call the beard/mustache a beard? Is the term "beard" all inclusive of both beard and mustache? I don't know. But I will find out. (just checked beard on wikipedia. It was very informational and pretty funny. I recommend.)

To tell you the truth, I kinda want to shave it off.

...buuuuut I also want to keep it.

It's really a love/hate thing.

Here are a couple things that bothers me (mainly my mustache):
My mustache pokes my lip when I do certain things.  Like touch it with my bottom lip.  haha.

Also I can feel my mustache when I'm drinking water.  Actually it's just that I can feel it on the rim of the cup.  But still.

Plus I can get "stuff" caught in it...and it can stay there for a long time if I don't realize it's there. (Like Kleenex...I sneeze a lot.)

But the one thing that is kinda keeping me from shaving it is that Jesus had a beard. Right?!?! I mean in all the artistic renditions of Jesus he has a beard...and if I want to be more like Jesus...one thing I can do is try to grow a beard.

Plus my oldest girl kinda likes it...and I'll do anything for my girls.

Finally, for the faithful who read this blog from time to time...here is what we have so far:

I'm smiling funny because I don't think I can smile regular with this on my face.

Also one more reason I want to shave it off is cause there's a lot of bald patches...but I'm hoping length will cover some of it up.

I dunno...we'll see.

Thanks for reading...till next time.

Re-Evaluating

So lately I've been thinking about what really matters...to me. One of the things that came to mind is 'stuff'. I want my family to have nice stuff. A house, transportation, nice clothes, and all the essential 'stuff' like a TV, computer, microwave, refrigerator, (typical guy stuff) etc. But what is the cost of that...stuff?

I don't know what book this was from but it kinda said something about we don't pay for things with money, we pay for things with time. For example, if I wanted to buy a house it's not so much the $600k - $700k loan that is the issue (but for me it kinda is an issue), but more about the amount of time it will take me to pay that off. Do I want to get into a 30 year loan...emphasis on the 30 (or more) years...in order to make this happen? Is it worth it for me to take on a 2nd and/or 3rd job and most likely miss out on soccer games, beach days, and daddy & daughter dates? Is it worth it for me to be too tired to spend time with my wife after a long day/week/month of work?

Some might say that you can do all those things with your family after you get the house...after you get the "security". Kind of like a "there's always tomorrow" mentality. That might be true. But I've just been feeling lately that I can't always count on tomorrow. I gotta take advantage of the time I have now. I'm not saying that I'll ditch my job and spend all my time at home. No. What I'm trying to say...or what I think I'm trying to say is that I want to make the most of every moment that's been given to me. I want to teach my girls that life is about more than money and 'stuff'. It's about making memories, and laughing, and having fun...it's about relationships. It's about love.

If you spend or lose money on something, you can always work and make more money. But once you spend or lose time on something, you can never get that time back.

I might be off the mark here...but it's just how I'm feeling at the moment.

They've changed me forever

They are so small, yet they mean so much.

They are so limited in what they can to do, yet they fascinate me more than almost anything here on this Earth.

I can be stressed out, frustrated, irritated, and tired, but when they look at me and smile, all of that seems to fade away.

There is something magical about them.

I don't know if remember what my life was like without them...in a good way. 

They've taught me so much about myself (in such a short time)...and they are still teaching me today...

...about love, joy, peace, patience...

Without them knowing, I am a better man, a better husband, a better son, a better person...because of them.

They are my little miracles...
...and I love them more than I thought I ever could.